Where do you find hope?

I've been at the bedside of many patients, and their family members, having a crisis. They, or someone they love, may die. It happened yesterday. He wasn't even out of his 50's yet; he wouldn't qualify for AARP for another 6-7 years. The doctor was only giving him a 50/50 chance of survival. I immediately went into turbo nurse mode (making my assignment 3 ICU patients instead of 2). Hanging drips, pushing morphine, and trying as hard as I could to carry myself with confidence. When he arrived, he was colored like death. His face, his hands, his feet were all grey, cold, and horrifying. Knowing what I know, and having seen what I have seen at the countless bedsides I've been at, I knew without even a faint glimmer of doubt, that what I could accomplish in the next hour or two might possibly save his life. As you can imagine on a Saturday at 1 am, in a critical care unit, nurses are on their own. Sure call the doctor, get a feel for what his/her expectations are and essentially explode from there. 50/50 chance. What on Earth would sway those statistics in this patient's favor?
Me. His nurse.

Hope. What is hope? what do people mean when they say " I hope..."? I hope that my next contract goes smoothly and that I enjoy it. I wish? I expect? The missing qualifier is on the who or what, that one might expect to influence the subject.
I hope that the Universe?
I hope that the bottom of my Starbuck's coffee?
I hope that President Obama?
I wish that my parents? dog? friend? lover?
I hope my Dad's nurse keeps him alive.
Do you know what my theory is? The person who is doing the wishing and hoping, is also potentially the same "who or what" that is expected to influence the subject, situation, etc. So essentially, people are wishing on themselves, or maybe a cashier, a beautician, a doctor or nurse, possibly even a football team to influence things in their favor. So, does wishing on yours/ or someone else's ability instill the required faith to overcome the anxiety that prompted the hope/wish in the first place? When it seems that the very fact that you feel compelled to wish/hope in the first place, indicates that you don't believe you can do it; although it may mean you think someone else can.

I once wished that a certain Senior in High School would fall deeply and madly in love with me, so much so that I made my Mom buy a shirt he had lifted off the rack and looked at, but put away. He touched it, so it needed to be mine. (I'll be honest- I never even considered that he looked at in disgust. Or even worse, that he would see me wear it and think it was weird that I was wearing men's clothing.) I can only say this- it definitely didn't hurt.

I don't want to imply that wishing/hoping on someone's expertise, knowledge, skill, talent isn't effective. I only want to broach the subject/idea about the wishing and hoping that goes along with faith in God (Purely on a psychological level, for anyone out there that doesn't like "God talk".)
I conjured up an exquisite suicide plan while lying on the floor of my walk in closet, as well as standing in front of a critical care drug dispensing machine. In the months, days, hours leading to my breaking point, I never begged for insulin to do it's job correctly, or for medical equipment  to be easily available when I needed to steal it from the supply room. These things, the functioning of insulin and equipment, relied on an outside force to be effective. An entire manufacturing team as a matter of fact. Broken down, it seems a bit infantile to place one's hopes on something one can't control. So, for all the things that can't be controlled or hoped for, what do people do? What is the natural, unbiased response to a crisis that can not be influenced by anyone?
Why have I spent all of my adult life looking for a definition and explanation of the feeling I had inside me that there was something missing? What is that? Some deep planted memory of when I wanted something I couldn't have that I got from a commercial or movie, or friend, neighbor as a kid? For me, it is seemingly impossible to imagine not having God to pray to. Impossible to put my faith in the environment around me; impossible to put my faith in someone who doesn't have miracles hidden up their sleeves.
So I challenge you- where do you find hope?

Oh, the patient? I left around 7:30 am and he was pink, warm and free of pain. He was going to live at least one more day.